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Devotion to Your Future Self
🌙When the body speaks loudly
It’s 11:30am on Tuesday 13 January, and peri-menopause is kicking my ass.
Even though I’m 57 years old, my body is still trying to menstruate. My breasts are tender and my whole system feels inflamed. My belly is bloated and it honestly feels like I’ve put on five kilos in the last week. I feel about eight or nine months pregnant right now. Despite sleeping eight to nine hours a night, I wake up completely exhausted. My head is so light that I nearly passed out on the yoga mat this morning.
And yet, despite all this strange and uncomfortable stuff happening in my body, my heart is full to the brim with gratitude for my younger self - for being courageous enough to make the wise choices she did.
🌙Gratitude for earlier choices
Deciding to leave the tough world of TV production to retrain and become a self-employed Life Coach 21 years ago (when this photo was taken) was a huge risk for me as a then single mum of a 9 year old daughter. But my wise self knew that if I didn’t, I ran the greater risk of developing serious health issues from the stress I was under at the time.
That decision means that this morning I have the freedom to listen deeply to what my body needs and to sit here in front of the fire, in my pyjamas writing this without any pressure to do or be anything else. Even though my peri-menopause journey has, on the whole, been relatively smooth, days like today make me wonder how other women manage to push on regardless. How they continue to show up in workplaces that demand consistency and push when their bodies and minds are asking for rest. It seems so hard on the system and so unnatural.
I’m also very grateful that 26-year-old Jenny listened when her body told her it was time to make babies.
Being a young mum had its own challenges, but not having dependents at this stage of my life feels like a real blessing. It gives me the freedom to earn less, to work less, and to prioritise my wellbeing as I move through this transition.
It also allows me to go at the pace my body needs during peri-menopause, to listen deeply, and to rest when that’s what’s required. Even though I have less money in the bank than at any stage in my life and very little future security, for me, the gift of ease and space right now is worth the compromise.
🌙Practices that carry me
Younger Jenny also committed to a yoga and meditation practice, which gradually became an integral part of my daily life. Even on days like today, my body is grateful for a gentle stretch to get energy moving through the meridians.
Yin yoga, restorative yoga, and yoga nidra are some of my medicines when balance feels off. However exhausted I may be, there is always a form of yoga that supports me - even if that looks like sitting at my altar chanting mantras, or lying in bed being guided into yoga nidra (non-sleep deep rest).
And, at the end of my morning practice, I always bow in gratitude - for yoga, mantra, meditation, for my teachers, and for myself for showing up. The benefits of these practices may not be scientifically quantifiable, but the peace, calm, grounding, and balance they bring are precious to me at this stage of life.
🌙Plant medicine and nourishment
Another support which I lean into on a daily basis comes from something younger Jenny grew increasingly drawn to over the years - plant medicine.
As I sit here, I’m sipping a homemade tisane of herbs and spices with anti-inflammatory and calming qualities. Our garden is full of herbs, and in midwinter the cupboards are stocked with what I harvested and dried during summer and autumn - lemon balm, verbena, calendula, chamomile, raspberry leaf, nettles, mint, rose. And from the spice cupboard - turmeric, ginger, cloves, black pepper, cardamom, cinnamon.
Essential oils are another part of my holistically intelligent lifestyle. This morning I put clary sage on my temples and geranium on key reflexology points on my feet. Oils are infusing the air around me, and later I’ll have a warm bath with clary sage, palmarosa, naouli, and gaultheria.
Although my younger self didn’t know why at the time, plant medicine called to her. She learned slowly, intuitively. Peri-menopausal Jenny is deeply grateful that she did.
When my daughter was a baby, my wise younger self also decided that Georgia wouldn’t be raised on junk or ultra-processed food. Cooking fresh, healthy meals after a full day at work wasn’t always easy, but it was an act of loving devotion to Georgia and myself which eventually became a passion. A largely plant-based, mostly organic, home-cooked way of eating is now simply how I live. And when my body feels overwhelmed, one of the first questions I ask is what adjustments my diet needs.
If you listened more closely to your body right now, what small adjustment might it be asking for?
Over the coming days, the focus will be on more anti-inflammatory foods and eating a little less, so my system has space to rebalance and reset.
🌙Devotion to Your Future Self
This idea of making choices now to support my Future Self is still very alive in me as I find myself thinking about what will support 60, 70, or 80 year old Jenny. It’s part of the reason we’ve put our house on the market and are looking for a home and garden that are more sustainable physically, financially, and environmentally. It’s also why I’ve recently nearly completely removed alcohol from my lifestyle, simplified my finances and IT systems, and of course, continue with the lifestyle choices younger Jenny put in place - all of which are gifts to my Future Self.
This devotion even shows up in the mundane. When I do housework, I bring a bhavana - an attitude of devotion. I’m not just cleaning for today. I’m doing it for future Jenny, so she can feel supported, relaxed, and at ease in her home.
That Future Self might be this evening, tomorrow, or ten years from now. It doesn’t matter which version she is. She deserves my love, my care, and my devotion.
What choices are you making today in devotion to your Future Self?
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